Transformers G.I. Joe Crossover Movie Is Doomed Before It Starts
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts was something of a ‘bot buffet, throwing in plenty of fans’ favorite characters (Maximals and Predacons and Unicron, oh my!) in an attempt to please everyone. The movie also ended with a G.I. Joe reveal intended to set up a future film crossover that brings together everyone’s favorite transforming robots and America’s daring, highly-trained mission force. Most fans were giddy at the prospect of a cinematic team-up, but I’m here to throw some cold Energon on this idea and warn you that this Transformers/G.I. Joe movie is already destined to be a Titan-sized failure.
Transformers And G.I. Joe Go Way Back
These two intellectual properties have a rich history of teaming up, though this has mostly been through comics, toylines, and an old Transformers G1 episode featuring an aging Cobra Commander (though he went by the name “Old Snake”). Both franchises have a very uneven history of live-action films, and the upcoming crossover will be our first opportunity to see our favorite Joes, Cobras, Autobots, and Decepticons share the big screen together. Unfortunately, the crossover Transformers/G.I. Joe movie is already doomed because the movie will be a cluttered mess of rushed characterization and various big names competing for screen time.
Fittingly enough, much of the future film’s prospective problems began with Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. The earlier Bumblebee film was a breath of fresh air, and one of its narrative strengths was a streamlined cast of characters, allowing us to focus on our titular ‘bot. Some fans wanted more robots, though, and Rise of the Beasts delivered, giving us a film crammed with more Autobots while introducing new allies (the Maximals), new villains (the Predacons), and even a dark god driven by endless hunger (Unicron).
Too Many Characters
That sequel suffered because it had to introduce us to new robots like Optimus Primal and new humans like Noah Diaz, all while fleshing out existing characters like Optimus Prime, someone who only briefly appeared in Bumblebee’s new continuity (this universe is separate from the Michael Bay films). At the bare minimum, we can count on the Transformers/G.I. Joe movie crossover to compound this problem because it will have to balance the roster of returning ‘bots and humans with a glut of new characters. Keep in mind that this new continuity still needs to introduce heavyweight Deception characters like Megatron and Starscream, all while introducing entirely new teams of G.I. Joe and Cobra forces.
Even in the hands of the best writer and director, it would be impossible to give all of these characters their due onscreen. That means that the crossover film will have to choose between bringing in only a tiny handful of characters from each faction or bringing in a large number and only giving the most beloved heroes and villains a single line or two. Either choice is guaranteed to annoy fans of both Transformers and G.I. Joe, two IPs that are famous for their large rosters of colorful characters.
The Big Bad Problem
Additionally, I can’t help but worry that the Transformers/G.I. Joe movie will have great difficulty establishing a convincing Big Bad for our heroes to fight and our villains to possibly join. Rise of the Beasts already had Optimus Prime and his boys fight Unicron, a dark god who (Galactus-style) devours entire planets. Not only will it be tough to deliver a scarier bad guy than this, but it’s a fair question to ask what the heck the squishy humans in G.I. Joe could do to fight something even scarier than Unicron, who was a literal extinction-level threat to humanity.
Finally, the Transformers/G.I. Joe movie will suffer in comparison to other crossovers between these IPs, including the comics currently being published by Image. In Image’s Energon Universe, the plots of each faction are delicately intertwined: even as the existence of Energon drives Cobra Commander to create an army powered by deadly weapons, G.I. Joe is created to stop anyone–human or robot–who might misuse this energy source. The comics are great because they have spent plenty of time working up to the crossover, and Image has published some awesome miniseries focused around fan-favorite characters like Cobra Commander.
From A Fan
As you can tell, I’m a huge fanboy of both IPs… in fact, this is being written in an office where Transformers and G.I. Joe toys loom over me while I work. I love these characters and their complex stories, but their crossovers have always worked best via the long-form storytelling of comics. The live-action Transformers/G.I. Joe movie is most certainly going to be a crowded and cluttered mess that disappoints critics and audiences alike and leaves us all saying that iconic phrase of resigned misery: “Well, that’s just prime!”
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