X-Men Vs. The Avengers: Our Definitive Winner
Debating who would win in a fight between the X-Men and The Avengers is a time-honored tradition that generations of Marvel nerds have argued about for decades. We’ve got some different scraps between the two teams in the comics and beyond, but none of that has brought this long-simmering debate to an end. But that ends today: to me, my nerds, as I outline exactly how and why the X-Men would wipe the floor with The Avengers if things came down to a real life-or-death battle.
The two greatest superhero teams in the Marvel Universe, the Avengers, and the X-Men, have tangled before without a conclusive winner, but we argue the X-Men would come out on top.
At first, our claim that the X-Men would trounce the Avengers may seem baffling to fans who still cherish their Captain America underoos. The Avengers is a team consisting of a literal god, a century-old supersoldier, a nearly-unstoppable Hulk, and many other heavy hitters. Compared to that, you might ask, how could everyone’s favorite band of ragtag mutants even stand a chance, much less definitively win?
The short answer is that even though the Avengers are full of bruisers, the X-Men combine their own heavy hitters with some serious wildcards. Professor Xavier is perhaps the best example: normally, the peaceful professor is loathe to use his amazing telepathy against others unless it’s absolutely necessary. But a Cerebro-enhanced Professor X could shut down the minds of all of the Avengers and even the world if he wanted to, and their only protection might be the chaotic powers of Scarlet Witch (powers too chaotic to rely on when the chips are down).
Jean Grey is another such wildcard. On her own, her Omega-level telepathic and telekinetic powers would be enough to help the X-Men defeat the Avengers (a team that, once again, doesn’t have enough in the way of psionic protection). And if the Avengers piss Jean off enough, it could unleash the Phoenix…considering that the Avengers couldn’t beat the Phoenix Force without mutant help in the Avengers vs. X-Men comic event, we’re confident they’d lose without having such help available.
Throw in the fact that Magneto would definitely join the X-Men to fight the Avengers, and we think this fight only ends one way: with a shield embedded deep in the torso of a dying Captain America.
The wildcards on this team go deeper than you might think: for example, most casual X-Men fans remember Iceman as someone who moves around on goofy ice slides and throws snowballs at his foes. However, longtime comics fans know that Iceman, like Jean Grey, is an Omega-level mutant and one of the most powerful creatures on the entire planet. He can literally kill someone by looking at them and freezing all the water in their body, and he could survive being vaporized by turning to gas…even super-soldier serum doesn’t protect against that, so the Avengers would really be screwed in a fight.
Plus, depending on what comics era the X-Men fought the Avengers in, the X-Men might have the deck stacked completely in their favor. In recent years, all mutants have functionally had the ability to be resurrected if they get killed, thanks to a special mix of mutant powers and technological innovation. That could go away in the near future (likely during or after the ambitious Fall of X arc), but if the X-Men can really throw an undying arm of their best soldiers (such as Wolverine) at the Avengers, then this fight really has no contest.
And if the Avengers piss Jean off enough, it could unleash the Phoenix…considering that the Avengers couldn’t beat the Phoenix Force without mutant help in the Avengers vs. X-Men comic event, we’re confident they’d lose without having such help available
Before you throw one of those Hulk fists at us, we need to address the green monster in the room: just how the hell would the X-Men take on a rampaging Hulk? While it’s true that Hulk has fought and defeated Wolverine on a number of occasions, we’d like to draw your attention to the fact that a single member of the X-Men is able to give this angry Avenger a run for his money every damn time. If Wolverine was joined by an entire team (including multiple people who can stop Hulk with a single telepathic thought), then the big green guy wouldn’t have a chance.
Believe it or not, we’ve only touched the surface when it comes to the many reasons why the X-Men would destroy the Avengers even more thoroughly than Gambit destroys the French language. For example, we skated right past the fact that Kitty Pryde can easily destroy Iron Man’s armor, how Nightcrawler is both worthy and nimble enough to steal Mjolnir from Thor, and that Rogue can steal the abilities from any mutant ringers the Avengers bring in such as Scarlet Witch.
Throw in the fact that Magneto would definitely join the X-Men to fight the Avengers, and we think this fight only ends one way: with a shield embedded deep in the torso of a dying Captain America. Sorry, Cap, but it’s time you and the rest of the Avengers made way for Homo superior.
