The Embarrassing Tombstone Of Fox Mulder In The X-Files
The X-Files took many twists and turns over the years, including the death and resurrection of Fox Mulder. This led to us briefly seeing the intrepid FBI Agent’s very plain tombstone, one that he shared with the other deceased members of his immediate family. However, in the original script for the season 1 episode “Shadows,” Mulder revealed a surprising request about his grave: he wanted his tombstone to have the embarrassing epithet “no regrets.”
Digging Through The Shadows
Fittingly enough, this tale of Mulder’s bizarre tombstone request is going to require us to do some serious digging. It all starts with “Shadows,” an early episode in which our two FBI agents investigated a series of mysterious deaths. The eventual answer to that mystery was as simple as it was shocking: they were being killed by the vengeful ghost of a dead man.
In the final version of the episode, Mulder makes no mention of his tombstone, but his unique request appeared in an earlier version of the script. In that version, he explicitly says that he wants the words “no regrets” engraved on his tombstone. Honestly, discovering this has had us endlessly cackling about how this request is both terribly embarrassing and completely in line with Mulder’s character.
A Funny Sentiment In Hindsight
When this episode came out in 1993, Mulder’s tombstone request would not have been considered all that embarrassing, but that has now changed. These days, “no regrets” as a final epithet seems much sillier, especially in light of the hit Robbie Williams song “No Regrets” coming out in 1998. Even back when The X-Files was in its prime, this sentiment had become a bit played out, with songs like this making the notion of declaring that you have “no regrets” thoroughly mainstream.
No Ragrets
Of course, we probably wouldn’t be laughing at the idea of “No regrets” going on Mulder’s tombstone if not for the raunchy comedy film We’re the Millers. That film memorably had a minor character with “no ragrets” tattooed on his chest. That spelling has become a kind of pop culture shorthand for making stupid and impulsive decisions, so we can’t help but giggle at the idea that, had Mulder gotten his wish, he would forever be remembered in conjunction with an ongoing meme about bad taste.
Consistent With His Character
With all that being said, the basic idea of “no regrets” might be perfect for Mulder’s tombstone because of his career arc. The show makes it clear that he was a highly gifted special agent who could have been a rockstar in the FBI, but he threw that opportunity away to sit in the basement and chase down leads about aliens and monsters. Certainly, Mulder lived without regrets, so it would arguably be fitting if he was remembered like that in death.
Mulder Never Got His Way
Sadly, Mulder’s tombstone request seemingly went unfulfilled, something we know because he actually died in the course of the series (don’t worry, he got better). Before he is resurrected and reunited with Scully, we see in the episode “Within” that he has a simple family gravestone that includes his name as well as the names of his mother, father, and sister.
No cool epithets are visible, but considering that the snow obscures everything after Fox Mulder’s name, we “want to believe” that the inclement weather was covering the two little words that he wanted to be remembered by.
