The Dark Sci-Fi Horror Franchise That Needs To Go Away
There are a lot of big, decades-old IPs that could stand to finally bow out and let more original projects get a chance in Hollywood. But out of all the big sci-fi blockbuster franchises that need to finally die, Terminator is at the very top of the list. It needs to lay down and stay down for so many reasons—because keeping the thing going works against the very premise of the thing, because AI is here and maybe it’s time we stop demonizing it, and because it simply isn’t as successful as it used to be.
Let’s Talk About The Money
Before we get into areas of opinion, let’s stay in 100 percent objective territory: 1991’s Terminator 2: Judgment Day‘s worldwide box office gross was $521 million. No Terminator movie since has made that much money.
That isn’t up for debate. It isn’t a matter of opinion. And I’m not even bothering to adjust for inflation.
Since 1984’s The Terminator, there have been five theatrical live-action follow ups. Terminator 2 made $521 million. In 2009 Terminator Salvation ($371 million) flopped, and Terminator: Dark Fate ($261 million) did the same a decade later. Both 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ($433 million) and 2015’s Terminator Genisys ($441 million) did well, but neither made what Terminator 2 made in 1991.
If after four tries, and spending a grand total of $740 million on production budgets (and not even counting what was spent on marketing or anything else), you still can’t top what you did over thirty years ago, what are you doing?
At What Point Does Someone On Either Side Think To Do Something Other Than Sending Terminators Back In Time?
The whole thing with Terminators going back in time is kind of useless, no? You send a dude back in time to kill John Connor, and I say, “Oh no, you don’t,” so I send a guy back in time to save John Connor.
Then you send a guy back and I go, “oh you think I was sleeping? BAM! Time travel!” And I send a guy back.
Oh, and also? They’re all Terminators now. Because now there are good guy Terminators and good guy, like, half-Terminators. So now, humanity vs. SkyNet is basically a never-ending episode of Robot Wars.
You send a guy back, I send a guy back. You send a guy back, I send a guy back. It’s like the supercomputer playing Tic-tac-toe at the end of WarGames; there’s no end in sight. Huey Lewis will rupture his larynx trying to sing “Back In Time” enough to keep up.
Terminator Is Already Getting To Be Too Much Like Highlander
What do I mean when I say Terminator is getting to be too much like Highlander? Well, after 1986’s Highlander, there were three follow up live-action films and every single one of them was deemed so bad by subsequent filmmakers each follow-up carried on the confusing tradition of completely ignoring the film that came before it.
In 1994 Highlander III: The Final Dimension ignored the events of 1991’s Highlander II: The Quickening. Then 2000’s Highlander: Endgame completely ignored the events of both 1991’s Highlander II and 1994’s Highlander III.
Imagine if after 1977’s Star Wars hit theaters, The Empire Strikes Back came out and inexplicably revealed that every character in Star Wars was a robot. Then The Return of the Jedi was released, completely ignored the whole “everyone’s a robot” thing, but also Obi-Wan Kenobi was alive, and Han Solo was never frozen in carbonite. Then we get The Force Awakens, which completely ignores everything except the first movie, but the cast from Star Wars is now fighting the cast of Ewoks: The Battle for Endor.
That’s basically how the Highlander films handle canon.
Terminator is already starting to do this. In 2019, Terminator: Dark Fate completely ignored the events of Terminator 3, Genisys, and the one where Christian Bale threatened to beat up the DP (Director of Photography, not Diet Pepsi).
A lot of fans may have been fine with that decision, but that was over 15 years of Terminator movies. Mark my words, if there are more Terminator movies, they will come up with increasingly complex addendums to what we may have or have not seen before. Just like Highlander.
Maybe It’s Time We Stop Fantasizing About Homicidal AI?
If you are someone who is afraid of the spread of artificial intelligence, believe me, I get you. If you do not trust artificial intelligence, I understand.
I grew up with The Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, WarGames, Blade Runner, Alien, The Matrix, the OG Battlestar Galactica and the reboot, and they were all telling me the same thing—artificial intelligence will arrive and when that happens we’re all going to die.
Well, the future is here, and everyone’s using it to write letters, make funny pictures, or even take orders at Taco Bell. No Terminators. Not yet.
So since it’s here, maybe we should stop treating it like it’s a nightmare in all our pop culture.
I’m not saying we start trusting AI completely, no. I’m just saying that I think that between blindly trusting AI with our future and making more and more stories about how it’s the harbinger of the apocalypse, there’s this whole big area of possibility to explore. Maybe it would be better for all of us if we stick to that exploration.
Because it’s here, guys. And I have a feeling if there are any more Terminator movies, none will be named Terminator: Everything’s Totally Fine, Just Chill.
Kill It
There’s so much talk about letting go of the big legacy IPs anyway, so let’s start with one that—theatrically at least—is dormant for the moment. I mean, at this point Arnold Schwarzenegger is too old for anything beyond Terminator: Early Bird Special, and if you agree with nothing else I’ve written you absolutely have to hear me when I say, “if Arnold isn’t there, and it’s Terminator, no it isn’t.”
