The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Universe VS The Predator

I’m using an amalgamation of each character based on all of their variations. Otherwise, I’d have to explain how one version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles puts up a decent fight against the Predator while another iteration of the team trips over their weapons on the way to the battle. Grab a pizza and sharpen your sais because you’re in for one shell of a fight!

Call him Mitochondria because Raph is the powerhouse of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the first to engage the Predator. Unfortunately, he’s also the first to fall. I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out.

Raphael is consistently depicted as the TMNT’s resident hothead. He has a penchant for charging into battle like Wolverine and lashing out at anything that moves.

Unlike Wolverine, though, Raphael doesn’t instantly heal from his injuries. And while his shell lets him take a lot of punishment it doesn’t make him invincible. Raph’s sheer rage will keep him on his feet long after most folks would have quit, but ultimately, the Predator’s superior strategy and long-range weapons will earn it the victory.

Sadly, Raphael’s headstrong “punch first, ask questions later,” demeanor will make him the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s first casualty against the Predator.

This is a tough one. While Leo has the skill to survive a Predator encounter, he’s also a very honorable warrior, and his opponent isn’t.

Sure, the Predators act noble by sparing kids and pregnant women, but that’s an act. Ol’ Mandible Mandy has a habit of trying to nuke the equivalent of a city block—itself included—every time it loses.

Still, being the brother who best exemplifies the “Ninja” in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles makes me think Leo would take this. Leonardo might be honorable, but he’s not stupid.

His heightened senses would pick up on the Predator’s long before it was visible. As soon as Leo realizes his opponent likes to play hide-and-seek, it’s all over for the Predator.

Predators may use invisibility as camouflage, but ninjas move in the shadows as a way of life. Leonardo would sneak up behind the Predator and liberate its head from its shoulders before the alien even figured out it had gone from hunter to hunted.

Every version of Donatello has at least some experience with extra-terrestrial technology. Countless times, he’s helped the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles overcome a technologically superior enemy, and the Predator is no different.

This being a random encounter, I don’t expect Donnie to be carrying a suitcase full of tools and gadgetry, but he always has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Donnie would first find a way to neutralize the Predator’s cloaking technology so he could see what he was dealing with. From there, Donatello would find a way to either turn the Predator’s tech against it or eliminate it from the equation altogether.

Sensing that a hand-to-hand fight would be suicide, Donnie would likely set up some traps, ala Arnold in the first Predator (1987), to incapacitate or at least slow the creature down.

Ultimately, it comes down to whether Donatello kills the Predator or simply leaves it immobilized. Of all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Donatello is most reluctant to kill—his weapon is a big stick, after all—so instead, he knocks the Predator out and safely retreats back to the sewers for reinforcements.

Lastly, we have Michelangelo, the party dude, the free spirit, and the team’s heart—all useless qualities against the Predator. Don’t get me wrong, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s biggest daydreamer is still a better fighter than most humans, but the Predator isn’t human.

Even taking into account that Michelangelo is the last turtle alive in The Last Ronin, that’s one universe.

In almost every other universe, Mikey is seen as the weakest fighter of the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Predator will absolutely take advantage of that. As much as throwing my wife’s favorite turtle under the bus like this pains me, I have to give it to the Predator.

I love Casey Jones, but he wouldn’t last five minutes against the Predator. He would rush right into battle like Raph but without the natural body armor.

As a result, the Predator would gut Jones from groin to sternum in no time flat. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fighting the Predator with ancient Japanese weapons is already crazy, but rushing the guy with a hockey stick is suicide.

Chances are the Predator would come upon Splinter shuffling along with his walking stick and immediately deem him a non-threat. Splinter, being a master of the ninja arts, would use his opponent’s overconfidence to gain an advantage and utterly destroy them. Splinter is like the Yoda of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe: old and unassuming but secretly a bad*ss more than capable of taking down a Predator.

Splinter is the epitome of “never judge a book by its cover,” a lesson that the Predator will learn the hard way. Sadly, it will also be its last lesson.

Oroku Saki would give the predator a run for his money. The leader of the Foot Clan has Splinter’s experience, Leonardo’s skill, and Donatello’s familiarity with alien tech.

On top of that, he has none of their scruples. Unlike the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he won’t hesitate to fight dirty against the Predator.

Unfortunatley, I can’t give Saki the win. He’s too proud. Shredder will declare victory, unaware that the Predator, with its last ounce of strength, is arming its self-destruct mechanism.

Shredder occasionally pulls similar cheap moves when he’s losing, making his defeat particularly poetic. In the end, the same hubris that allowed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to defeat him countless times will again be his downfall at the hands of the Predator.