Weird Science Almost Got A Rated-R Remake
From our hearts and from our hands, why doesn’t Universal Pictures understand our intentions? And those intentions, incidentally, are to force filmmakers into doing a bit of critical thinking before they blindly remake every single science fiction film from 1985-1995. It almost happened with Weird Science, one of the greatest bits of 80s movie culture.
Joel Silver’s Silver Pictures and Universal Pictures were set to tag-team a script, and then pile a director, and a couple of stars into a blender pre-filled with lard. Then they were going to turn it on, the blender would break in the middle, and what would have come out would be a remake of John Hughes’ only embrace of a sci-fi narrative in Weird Science.
Granted, Weird Science was also kind of a romantic comedy, but at least it didn’t have any preteens in it whose parents were completely unaware. Just Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith as teens whose parents were completely unaware.
Redeeming quality: The screenplay was to be written by writer/actor Michael Bacall, who wrote the surprisingly hilarious reimagining of 21 Jump Street and the awesome adaptation of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
He got his break with the highly emotional drama Manic, which featured one of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s earliest stellar performances, and features Don Cheadle saying “motherfucker” every bit as badass as Samuel L. Jackson. Not sci-fi, but a really good movie nonetheless.
Anyway, Bacall was set to bring the adult audiences into this Weird Science remake, with an intentionally R-rated screenplay. Computer-generated boobs? We were sure hoping so.
Heck, maybe the male characters would be using a 3D printer for their female-creating needs. Or maybe it will be girls creating their dream guy. There appeared to be a bunch of different options on the table. Maybe even artificial intelligence would have gotten involved as well. How could it not have?
In the original Weird Science, two unpopular teenage nerds, Gary and Wyatt, use a computer program to create the perfect woman named Lisa, a gorgeous and intelligent woman who helps boost their confidence. Lisa uses her powers to help the boys become popular, throwing a wild party at Wyatt’s house and transforming one of the bullies into a hideously mutated blob. Of course, hilarity ensues.
Let’s not forget that the USA network already adapted Weird Science into an enjoyable sitcom in the mid-1990s, and it featured Vanessa Angel, who I’ve always found to be worlds more attractive than the original film’s Kelly LeBrock. Too bad it’s not my dream girl being created. But then, people would wonder why she has all those tentacles.
Unfortunately, as many Hollywood projects do, the Weird Science remake appeared to die on the vine. There was considerable excitement around the project and the pieces were lining up. But it never ended up happening.
Of course, never say never with a Weird Science remake or any other reimagining of a once-popular story or movie. Hollywood is always recycling this type of stuff. With that in mind, there’s clearly still time.
