How Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Should Have Ended
The team behind the parody-minded YouTube channel How It Should Have Ended cranked out their humorous versions of hindsight editing for seven years now. Long-time viewers will notice that their videos are more assuredly animated now, with tighter scripts and longer runtimes. But they’ve still somehow never tackled one of the most notorious films in existence: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.
Until now, that is. To make up for the long wait, they don’t just offer one alternate ending for Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, but two. I’d forgotten exactly how the film concludes, but this video reminded me of that pain. I’d have written this a little earlier, but it took another half-hour to calm the suicidal urges that the memory provoked.
The Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace video starts in what is possibly the smartest way any video has started in the history of video: Qui-Gon Jinn first tries to get rid of the bastard devil that is Jar Jar Binks through words. When Jar Jar refuses to leave willingly, Qui-Gon just uses his lightsaber to reflect a bunch of lasers into Jar Jar’s stupid mortal body. I’d pay money to see this movie in theaters again if this scene was inserted into the final cut.
This Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace video also takes care of one of the biggest problems facing movies since their cinema’s inception, which is “the powers-that-be instinctually going with their own gut feelings rather than listening to the well-supplemented claims of someone else.
And yes, it would have been nice in Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace if Darth Maul had come by in the end to point out Senator Palpatine’s nefarious evil-doings, but given the first part of the HISHE ending doesn’t include Darth Maul battle, why would Qui-Gon have died? Luckily, they decided to offer up another fan-friendly ending, which involves Obi-Wan’s last-ditch, Force-powered effort to put an end to Darth Maul, only to get cut into two equally Ewan McGregor-y pieces.
My two favorite parts of the vid, beyond Jar Jar’s death? The ending, where puppet Yoda magically turns into a full-bodied version, and the mostly recognizable crowd in the Senate scene. Marvin the Martian and Kane and Kodos for the victory.
