More Human Than Human: The Best Synthetic Partners In Movie And TV

Sure, the Terminator series provides several options when it comes to pairing up with a capable and combat-ready synthetic partner, but our vote has to go to Summer Glau’s Cameron from Fox’s short-lived Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

And not just because she looks like Summer Glau. Robert Patrick’s T-1000 has the versatility of that whole liquid metal thing, but frankly, even if the IT department had assured us he had been reprogrammed, we’d never feel comfortable turning our back on the thing.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s T-800 model proved that it could be just as good a protector as a killer, but he sort of stands out in a crowd. I mean, so does Summer Glau, but in a very different way. Arnold Schwarzenegger is many things, but “subtle” is not among them.

Part of the advantage of having an android partner is the element of surprise, and if you were to ask a random person to describe what a murderous cyborg might look like, you’re likely to end up with a sketch of T2-era Arnold Schwarzenegger.

On the other hand, the bad guys would never see it coming when Cameron lifted them over her head and tossed them out a window.

There were a couple of decades spent debating whether Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) was, in fact, an android — or “replicant” in the film’s parlance. The latest and presumably final cut of the flick gets pretty overt in its hints that Deckard is more human than human, but let’s just say for the sake of argument that he definitely is.

He’s a great pick for your mandatory law-enforcement partner — he’s already got experience in law enforcement, he’s a top-notch detective, and he knows how to handle himself in a fight, even when up against a combat-model skinjob like Roy Batty.

Okay, so Deckard would probably have fallen to his death if Batty hadn’t had a change of heart, but we’d like to think Deckard learned some new moves from that whole experience.

Plus, he’s Harrison Ford! Who wouldn’t want Harrison Ford as their wingman? He might be hard to recruit since he was last seen going into hiding with a sultry brunette. It’s just too bad he won’t live. But then again, who does?

Androids in the Alien universe have a decidedly bad reputation, and they’ve come by it honestly. Just ask Ellen Ripley. During the events of the first Alien movie, her entire crew was killed thanks largely to the actions of Ash, secretly an android acting under orders from the Weyland-Yutani Corporation — orders which considered the crew of the Nostromo to be expendable at best.

It’s no wonder Ripley didn’t want anything to do with Bishop at first, but he proved himself over and over again. He was never dishonest about what he was. He volunteered for a potentially deadly mission to try and secure Ripley and the others a way off LV-426.

He came back for Ripley and Newt when he could have left them to die. No matter how untrustworthy pretty much every other android in the Alien universe might be, Bishop is dependable, loyal, and a definite asset if you’re stranded in a colony overrun by hostile xenomorphs.

While he might not know much about law enforcement, a quick bit of reprogramming could fix that, and he’s the sort of guy who’ll save a little girl from being blown out into space, even after he’s recently been ripped in half.

Plus, he can do that badass knife trick, which is great at parties. Just be forewarned: he does miss it every once in a while.

Data brings quite a few selling points to the table when it comes to looking for a synthetic partner. He’s got that marvelous positronic brain that can summon up information on damn near anything, always a plus during a police investigation.

He’s stronger than a human and can hold his own in a pitched phaser battle without having to worry about losing his nerve. Plus, his occasionally naive innocence makes him a great straight man to all the cynical wisecracking we would inevitably be doing if forced into a day-to-day partnership with an android.

The notion of artificial beings striving to be more like their organic creators is a well-worn theme in science fiction, and Data’s series-long quest is a fondly remembered part of The Next Generation, but when you’re hitting the streets, you might want to ask Data to switch off that emotion chip.

His sense of humor leaves a lot to be desired. Manufacturer’s warning: you’re going to want to figure out some protocol to make sure you’re actually dealing with Data and not that rat bastard brother of his that’s always coming around.

All of our picks so far both appear human and possess some traces of human emotion or personality. That’s great when you’re arguing about sports during a 13-hour overnight stakeout, but sometimes there’s no substitute for the strong and silent type.

Gort isn’t a lot of fun. He pretty much just stands around doing nothing 99% of the time. But when the shit does hit the fan, Gort will resolve it as only an an implacable robotic peace officer armed with a death ray can.

Gort can face down an assembled military force without even having to move anything but his visor. And should you need somebody to fill the role of bad cop to your good cop, I dare you to try and find a better candidate than Gort. Hell, the entire plot of The Day the Earth Stood Still was basically Klaatu and Gort playing good cop/bad cop with the entire human race.

Let your suspect watch Gort vaporize a tank or two, then leave them in the interrogation room together for a couple of hours. With Gort just standing there. Looking at him. Waiting. You’ll probably get a confession before you even get around to the old staple of offering the suspect something to eat.

Okay, I’m going to be honest. This one is pretty much just about that outfit. Princess Leia’s gold metal bikini, eat your heart out.