The Rob Zombie Halloween Remake Fooled Everyone

I’m not arguing that Rob Zombie gave Michael a crappy home life in Halloween. His mom’s live-in boyfriend is verbally abusive, his sister taunts him constantly and the kids at school make cruel jokes about his stripper mother. Anyone would come away from that kind of upbringing with severe PTSD and emotional scarring.

But that’s not what made Michael the way he is. We could debate nature vs. nurture until the cows come home, but it’s a moot argument.

Why? Because Rob Zombie’s Michael Myers childhood wasn’t actually all that bad. Nurture, in this case, isn’t really part of the equation.

Confused? Let me explain.

For context, the original Halloween starts with a short prologue showing Michael’s first murder before jumping 15 years in the future. Halloween ’07, on the other hand, spends a good chunk of its runtime showing us the entire day leading up to Michael’s first murder spree. The first film offers no motivation for Michael’s violence, while Rob Zombie’s Halloween would seem to explain way too much.

Zombie gives us everything we need to understand why Michael becomes a serial killer.

Except he doesn’t.

Let’s start with the Myers home. It’s a huge, multi-bedroom house far from the rundown slums or trailer parks usually associated with antisocial behavior. I’m not knocking anyone who grew up in a poor neighborhood, by the way; as a visual medium, movies usually depict children with troubled childhoods living in the worst rat-infested dumps. Casa de Myers might have that realistic blue-collar Roseanne look, but it’s far from a hovel.

The palatial Myers residence wouldn’t be cheap in any time period, which leads to my next point. I don’t think Deborah Myers had been an exotic dancer for very long. She most likely took the job out of desperation when her husband died suddenly, leaving her the sole breadwinner.

Again, I have nothing against exotic dancers. Still, going along with my red herring theory, Rob Zombie definitely made that Deborah’s occupation in Halloween to further drive home poor Michael’s horrible childhood. Or rather, the illusion of a horrible childhood.

Notice I mentioned that Michael’s father was dead. How do we know this for sure? Judith Myers says it.

Steve, her boyfriend, mistakenly calls Ronnie—Deborah’s boyfriend—her father, triggering the response, “That (expletive) drunk (expletive) (expletive) Ronnie ain’t my dad. My daddy’s in heaven, okay?”

Not only is the unnamed Myers patriarch dead, but judging by how Judith defends him, he was loved by the family. From there, it’s not hard to connect the dots that Papa Myers was probably not very abusive to his children. Not enough to make Michael a murderer, at least.

Ronnie, on the other hand, is abusive, at least verbally. Everyone knows the characters in a Rob Zombie movie always have the foulest potty mouths this side of Clerks, and Halloween is no exception. But verbal abuse alone—while still absolutely terrible—isn’t usually enough to make someone want to kill small animals as a hobby, especially if it wasn’t ongoing.

Which brings me to my last point: Boo.

Michael’s little sister Angel “Boo” Myers, is less than a year old when the events of Rob Zombie’s Halloween take place. Maybe a year old at the most. That means Michael has been dealing with Ronnie’s insults, not for years but months.

All of it … his mother’s spicy work, the people of Haddonfield gossiping about it, every element of Michael’s “origin,” have been around for less time than it takes the Earth to complete a lap around the sun.

Meanwhile, Deborah meets with Michael’s school to discuss his bringing dead animals to school. During the scene, it is heavily implied that Michael has been disturbed for a long time. Add everything together, and the math doesn’t seem right.

Michael grew up with a loving mother and father in a big house. There’s no indication that his parents didn’t get along—quite the contrary. There’s every indication that they were happy enough to bring three children into the world.

On top of that, the only abuse we know for sure Michael was subjected to was verbal and lasted for less than a year.

Rob Zombie’s Halloween didn’t explain Michael Myers. It didn’t ruin the character by blaming a crappy childhood for his murderous tendencies. Zombie set up a smokescreen, and it worked.

Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake has divided horror fans since it first hit theaters 17 years ago. Many horror buffs consider the remake sacrilege and hate the very thought of giving Michael Myers a backstory. On the other hand, some gorehounds appreciate the grimy, white trash aesthetic and brutal violence Zombie brought to the aging Halloween franchise.

Say what you will about Rob Zombie, he’s not so subtle … or is he?

Does that make the movie better? That’s up to you to decide. There are still plenty of other things to complain about in Rob Zombie’s Halloween. Thanks to my theory though, Michael Myers’ “origin” isn’t one of them.