Dark R-Rated Horror Comedy Goes To Hilarious Taboo Extremes, Stream Without Netflix
There are generally two types of scary movies: the ones about more fantastical fears (zombies, dream demons, and so on) and the ones about more practical frights (stalkers, serial killers, etc.). Rare are the horror films that blend these two worlds, using fantastic plots to explore very primal fears in a realistic way. One example of that is Teeth, a movie about a killer vagina (yes, you read that correctly) that you can stream for free on Tubi today.
What is Teeth about, exactly? In short, it’s about a teenage girl who discovers that there are literal teeth in her private area, ones that she can’t fully control. But as those teeth dispose of would-be antagonists and other nefarious types in the goriest possible way, it becomes less clear whether her condition is a curse or maybe just the ultimate weapon against misogynistic patriarchy.
Critics praised the film for creating “a fresh feminist spin on horror movie tropes” while still being “smart, original, and horrifically funny.”
That’s the basic premise of Teeth, but to really understand what’s going on, you need to know a bit about the often-grisly folk tales of the “vagina dentata.” That term is Latin for (no points for guessing) “toothed vagina,” and various myths and folk tales on this subject describe how men might experience everything from emasculation to castration after being forceful with a woman.
That little folk tale history lesson is important in understanding Teeth because one of the reasons (not the only one, of course) that the myth endured for so long is that it was a way of discouraging men from assaulting women … an appeal to any monster thinking entirely with his genitals that he might very well lose them if he hurts a woman. And without giving too many plot points away, our protagonist discovers the titular teeth only after they protect her from getting assaulted.
Our protagonist has to become a monster to survive in a monstrous world, and the film cleverly presents the patriarchy as both her victimizer and her victim.
Speaking of our protagonist, she is played to perfection by Jess Weixler, someone who is otherwise mostly known for her later recurring role in The Good Wife. The film also stars John Carter Hensley, best known to genre fans for his role in Nip/Tuck. Genre fans may also be jazzed that Teeth stars Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) veteran Josh Pais and The Magicians star Hale Appleman.
At the box office, Teeth wasn’t a major hit … it made only $2.3 million at the box office against a budget of $2 million dollars. However, the film has been a hit with critics from the beginning: not only did it create a serious buzz at Sundance, but it went on to earn an 80 percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes. In general, critics praised the film for creating “a fresh feminist spin on horror movie tropes” while still being “smart, original, and horrifically funny.”
I generally agree and believe that part of the film’s brilliance is that you can enjoy it on so many different levels. If you want blood, there’s plenty of it, and if you want laughs, the film is full of wonderfully sick humor. And its feminist message is cleverly embedded in one of horror’s oldest, greatest tropes: making you hate most of the victims long before they are hurt or killed.
But as those teeth dispose of would-be antagonists and other nefarious types in the goriest possible way, it becomes less clear whether her condition is a curse or maybe just the ultimate weapon against misogynistic patriarchy.
Additionally, Teeth is a different take on feminist horror than, say, Buffy … while that show embraced girl power in the most literal way by giving the hero literal superpowers, this film presents the protagonist’s condition as a curse that might just be a secret blessing. She isn’t pleased with what has happened to her but eventually embraces her newfound ability to protect herself against the most invasive assaults. Our protagonist has to become a monster to survive in a monstrous world, and the film cleverly presents the patriarchy as both her victimizer and her victim.
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Is Teeth the kind of film you’ll want to bite down on, or will you wish our hero’s teeth had destroyed the film itself along with all those patriarchal aggressors? You won’t know until you stream it for free on Tubi.
