Netflix Vampire Action Comedy Starring Punk Rock Icon Will Punch You In The Gut
“Why are you calling, Gillian? I remember hating you” is one of the first lines of dialogue in He Never Died, starring Henry Rollins of the groundbreaking punk rock band, Black Flag. If you’re somewhat familiar with Henry Rollins and what he’s all about, you’re in for a blood-sucking treat with this movie because his undead, deadpan delivery is second to none. Boasting a very quick timeline, but enough violent escalations to tide you over until the Nobody 2 comes out, He Never Died is smart, hilarious, and disgusting, all while oozing from every pore with a nihilistic charm that only Rollins is capable of delivering so convincingly.
Henry Rollins Is A Jack Of All Trades
I won’t bore you with the granular plot details to He Never Died because there’s not really a lot to cover, and it’s something you need to witness first-hand to fully enjoy.
Henry Rollins portrays Jack, an immortal vampire of sorts who we learn has been alive since biblical times. The best way to describe Jack is as a recovering addict who keeps to himself so he doesn’t relapse and commit acts of cannibalism. He walks everywhere, frequents the same seedy diner for a lonely lunch, and plays bingo several nights a week to pass the time.
Wherever he goes, Jack notices he’s being followed by a strange old man wearing a pork pie hat that nobody else can see.
Introducing The “Familiar Something”
He Never Dies introduces its primary source of conflict through a phone call with the aforementioned Gillian (voiced by Mary Elaina Brisebois), Jack’s ex-girlfriend. Jack learns that although his relationship with Gillian was short-lived and tumultuous, they were together long enough to conceive a child named Andrea (Jordan Todosey), who is now 19 years old. Jack isn’t excited about the prospect of reconnecting with his estranged daughter because he’s been alive for thousands of years, and he’ll outlive everybody he loves anyway … so what’s the point in forming a relationship, even if it ends up being good for him?
Jack reluctantly lets Andrea stay at his place, but sleeps most of his days away to fight off the urge to kill and eat her. He goes for long walks in the middle of the night without announcing his departure, and often returns to go straight back to bed.
Romance, Immortality, Bingo, And Violence
To curb his cannibalistic urges in He Never Died, Jack purchases blood from a hospital intern named Jeremy, a young man who owes a lot of money to some very dangerous mobsters who coincidentally have a connection to Jack, who used to run in their circle.
Without spoiling too many plot points, this circle of connections leads to Andrea getting kidnapped, and Jack has trouble figuring out whether he should care or not. Meanwhile, the diner waitress, Cara (Kate Greenhouse), doesn’t want to admit that she has a crush on Jack, and Jack is either oblivious to this fact, or just indifferent because what’s the point in romance if he’s doomed to walk the Earth alone until the end of time?
A Nihilistic Comedy Like No Other
The above mentioned plot line for He Never Died sounds like some seriously heavy stuff, but I need to stop here and tell you that this is 100 percent a comedy film. Henry Rollins is the perfect actor to portray Jack because his stone-faced delivery of every line tells you everything you need to know about his character.
Jack is tired of being alive, but cannot die. He’s amassed a fortune to live off of during the thousands of years he’s been alive, and he just wants to pay his rent, stay on the “not eating people” wagon, play bingo, and quietly live out the rest of this days (however long that might take). Everybody else in He Never Died is just a temporary distraction, and you can tell that he’s just so tired of it all.
Revenge Arc, But Only To Pass The Time
Jack’s world-weariness is what makes He Never Died such an effective comedy. When he’s convinced that he should look after his daughter, he goes into rampage mode and takes the “you messed with the wrong guy” trope to a level that you’ve never seen before. Jack can get shot in the head, thrown off a bridge while chained to cinder blocks, and stabbed repeatedly, but like the title suggests, he cannot die. But he does have to remove the bullets from his skull before it heals over, or else he’ll get migraines.
In so many words, Jack is basically an apathetic John Wick.
When Jack is told something like “they’re going to kill your daughter if you don’t meet us at the docks by midnight,” the most you’ll get out of him is “okay.”
Stream He Never Died On Netflix
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I thoroughly enjoyed He Never Died because it’s your classic revenge arc, but with a protagonist who clearly doesn’t want to be there while still going through the motions. When you’ve been alive since the beginning of time, it’s hard to see events happening in the present day as anything other than a blip on the cosmic screen that truly don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
What does matter, however, is how perfect of a movie He Never Died is. To see for yourself, you can stream this macabre masterpiece on Netflix, and I strongly recommend you do so if you like your deadpan humor with a side of bingo wings.
