Han Solo Proposes To Princess Leia In The Worst Way Possible
Older Star Wars fans have a lot of nostalgia for the Expanded Universe (Legends) continuity. However, even the most hardcore EU fan will tell you it wasn’t all great. For every Heir to the Empire, there was a Courtship of Princess Leia. Oh, are you not familiar with the 1994 novel where Han Solo stays up all night gambling to win Princess Leia a planet, kidnaps her, and brings her there against her will? Buckle up. We’re going for a ride.
The Courtship Of Princess Leia
It’s not that the Courtship of Princess Leia is a bad book—it’s just a batsh*t crazy one. To say that author Dave Wolverton made some “choices” is an understatement.
How does Han Solo kidnap Princess Leia? Does he knock her out? Tie her up? Hold her at blaster point?
No, silly, he uses the Gun of Command. Duh. No seriously. This book features a weapon called the Gun of Command that shoots a mind-control beam.
Anyone the beam touches has to do whatever the shooter says. But Disney is ruining Star Wars, am I right?
Some Warlord From Somewhere
The book’s plot involves Han Solo returning to Coruscant after leading a military operation against Imperial Warlord Zsinj. Who is Warlord Zsinj? Dunno.
As a kid, I thought I had missed a book or comic somewhere, but no, The Courtship of Princess Leia just introduces a new antagonist out of nowhere and treats him like a known commodity. Believe it or not, this paragraph contains all of the information The Courtship of Princess Leia has to offer on Warlord Zsinj.
So anyway, Han Solo gets back to Coruscant just in time to see a bunch of fancy ships and a wealthy Prince Charming type showering Princess Leia with gifts.
It turns out that the richest group of planets in the galaxy—The Hapes consortium—wants their Prince Isolder to wed Leia. To sweeten the deal, they brought a bunch of swag, including a dozen Star Destroyers, a bonsai tree, and the Hapan Gun of Command I mentioned earlier.
Gun Of Command
Despite her obvious feelings for Han Solo, Princess Leia considers the offer. Money from the Hapes Consortium could really help the fledgling New Republic get its act together.
Besides, Han has known Leia for eight years at this point and still hasn’t made his move.
To paraphrase Beyonce: if he liked it then he should have put a ring on it.
But a ring just isn’t Han Solo’s style. No Han, decides to pull a Doc Holliday and stay up drinking and gambling for days on end. Eventually, he wins the planet Dathomir and offers it to Princess Leia.
When she refuses to go with him to the planet he shoots her with the Gun of Command and drags her there against her will. Banger proposal so far Han. No notes.
Campy And Kind Of Dumb
Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker and Prince Isolder agree to follow the Millennium Falcon. Using Luke’s Force navigation—because the book makes that a thing—they actually manage to get to Dathomir slightly before Han and Leia.
The rest of the book involves the Nightsisters riding rancors, Luke discovering there are force users other than the Jedi and Sith, and Prince Isolder deciding to marry the Dathomiri witch who imprisoned him. Oh, and Zsinj is defeated.
I can’t help but think Han Solo’s victory against his arch-enemy, Warlord Zsinj, would have had more of an impact if The Courtship of Princess Leia hadn’t treated Zsinj as just a “thing that exists now.”
Again, the book isn’t terrible. It’s just really campy and kind of dumb. So…Star Wars.
Rancor Riding And More
To give The Courtship of Princess Leia credit where credit is due, it did introduce some really cool ideas into the Star Wars universe. Dathomir and the Nightsisters made their first appearance in this book.
It’s also the first time the idea of people riding rancors is mentioned—all things that exist in canon today.
On the other hand, Han Solo’s caveman-knocks-out-cavewoman-and-drags-her-home approach to winning Princess Leia’s heart doesn’t work so well in 2024.
Neither does Prince Isolder’s Stockholm Syndrome. All in all, The Courtship of Princess Leia is worth reading today for a fun non-canon What If? story about the events leading up to Han and Leia’s wedding.
Just try to read it with 1994 eyes and not 2024. You’ll enjoy it more.
