Gruesome Netflix Original Slasher Is A Nightmare Come To Life
It’s easy for me to scroll right past all of the non-English titles that Netflix has to offer, but sometimes the title card on the streaming menu is enough to grab my attention. When I first caught a glance of Elisa from A Classic Horror Story, an Italian film, I decided to fire up the subtitles and give it a go because something about her, and her half-mask made out of tree bark, looking straight into the camera with a look of abject horror was enough to make my skin crawl.
While I had my doubts about how an independent slasher flick set in a remote cabin with a modest $3 million budget could be an effective outing, I was deeply disturbed by the film’s content by the time the final credits began to roll.
It’s A Vibe
A Classic Horror Story, like the title suggests, is a sort of homage to slasher and folk horror films of the past, but updated for a modern audience. Not afraid to lean into the tried-and-true tropes we’re all familiar with, the end result is a film that boasts more style than substance, but not in a way that makes it something you should write off completely, either.
My first thought when looking at some of the beautifully filmed establishing shots was that this movie has some serious Oz Perkins vibes when it comes to the atmosphere that’s established.
Director Robert De Feo somehow manages to make these expansive shots in the middle of the remote wilderness evoke a feeling of claustrophobia despite how out in the open everything is.
Starts With A Road Trip
Like most by-the-numbers creepy cabin movies, A Classic Horror Story starts out in an RV, and we’re introduced to the soon-to-be-slaughtered cast.
Elisa (Matilda Lutz), the film’s protagonist, is carpooling to her parent’s home through a ride-share app to terminate her pregnancy, though she’s still on the fence about following through with this decision. Joining Elisa on the trip are a blogger and aspiring filmmaker named Fabrizio (Francesco Russo), an out-of-practice doctor named Riccardo (Peppino Mazzotta), and two annoyingly outgoing partners named Sofia (Yuliia Sobol) and Mark (William Merrick).
When the RV pulls over so Elisa can deal with a bout of morning sickness, Mark, who has been day-drinking, offers to take over the driving duties, relieving Fabrizio.
Mark’s reaction time isn’t as good as he thinks it is, and when he swerves the RV in order to avoid hitting a dead goat sprawled across the road, the vehicle crashes into a tree.
This Has Happened Countless Times Before
When Elisa and the rest of the group regain consciousness, they come to the disturbing realization that their RV is nowhere near the road, as they find themselves in the middle of a massive field overlooked by the creepiest cabin you’ve ever seen. As they get the lay of the land, they discover a graveyard of previously crashed vehicles, telling them that incidents like theirs have happened several times in the past, and that they’re probably not alone.
The group resolves to not enter the cabin, but have a change of heart when they hear screaming coming from the inside and decide to investigate. A Classic Horror Story shows its namesake when this decision is made, setting up the second and third acts with the typical beats that you would expect, but with a twist that M. Night Shyamalan wishes he came up with himself.
Horrified by their findings, matters only get worse when they learn about occult activities involving human sacrifices, leading them to believe that they’re going to be victims of an elaborate ceremony as soon as darkness falls.
Genre-Bending Occult Terror
A Classic Horror Story is a little bit slasher, a little bit folk horror, and 100 percent gruesome once you learn what’s truly at stake. As the cabin is surrounded by a strange cult of tree bark wearing executioners, you pretty much know how this one is going to end, but this film has enough tricks up its sleeve to keep you engaged while it deviates from the usual beats and pushes itself into unexplored territory that will make you want to look away from the screen on more than one occasion.
Elisa, playing the role of the “last girl,” does not disappoint when she decides that she’s not going to go down without a fight. As somebody who has seen this story play out a thousand times before, I’ll admit that I was not expecting so many third-act reveals, and effective ones at that, that would keep me guessing until the film’s conclusion.
Streaming A Classic Horror Story
GFR SCORE
Like I said earlier, A Classic Horror Story offers more style than substance, but it takes such a fascinating narrative direction that I’m willing to forgive some of its more contrived sequences. The gore is top-notch, and the fear seems genuine.
My only serious recommendation to anybody considering viewing this bloody spectacle is to forego the English dubs and watch the film in its intended language, as the native-tongue inflections convey a more authentic sense of fear and despair than its English voice-acted counterpart.
If you have the stomach, and the patience, you can stream A Classic Horror Story on Netflix.
