Massive Sci-Fi Blockbuster Movie Filled With Junk Science Makes No Sense
Do you remember when big-budget blockbusters made absolutely no sense but nobody cared because they were so awesome? Armageddon is one such film, and it’s so full of junk science that even one of its top-billed stars, Ben Affleck, rails on the movie’s logical inconsistencies on the commentary track that can be found on the Criterion Collection version of the film. During an epic rant about how the entire movie’s plot is impossible, Ben Affleck doesn’t mince words when he goes into why he thinks Armageddon’s premise is so stupid.
“I asked Michael (Bay) why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the f*** up.”
–Ben Affleck on the Armageddon commentary track
During the Armageddon commentary track, Ben Affleck can be heard saying, “I asked Michael (Bay) why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the f*** up.” According to Affleck, this was the end of the conversation about one of the biggest plot holes in the film that was not only never addressed, but also celebrated given the film’s ridiculous premise. When I first heard about this rant, I thought it was coming from a frustrated Ben Affleck during an interview in which he spoke off the cuff and later regretted it, but I was surprised and incredibly amused to find out that the physical release of the movie included this commentary.
[D]espite its willingness to defy logic for the sake of larger-than-life storytelling, there’s a reason that this movie, which Roger Ebert hated more than Spice World, raked in over $550 million at the box office.
Ben Affleck’s epic take-down of Armageddon continues to point out how absurd Michael Bay’s vision truly was while making this film. During the scene in which Bruce Willis is found ripping Billy Bob Thornton’s Dan Truman apart for wanting to send highly trained astronauts but inexperienced drillers to the Earth-killing asteroid, Affleck implies that Michael Bay had reason to believe that this was actually a real plan that NASA had should such an extinction-level event occur in real life. He bravely breaks down exactly why it’s absurd to think that highly trained NASA engineers could be experts in rocket-science, but not know a thing or two about the finer points of pointing a drill at the ground and pressing a button.
But I’ve got to give it to Michael Bay for shamelessly leaning into Armageddon’s premise, because even though its plot defies logic in every conceivable way, it’s still a highly entertaining film. Armageddon works so well (and was so successful) because it’s the ultimate form of wish-fulfillment for working-class, salt-of-the-Earth blue-collar workers who are tasked with saving the day. If you don’t remember part of the deal that Bruce Willis’ Harry S. Stamper made with the government, I’ll remind you that he simply wants himself and his entire crew to never have to pay taxes again, and for some of them to have their criminal records pardoned.
Playing out (unintentionally) like a blue-collar work-place comedy set on an asteroid the size of Texas, Armageddon works so well because of the chemistry between its cast members. When you have Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson, Billy Bob Thornton, and Michael Clarke Duncan involved, it’s hard to fault a movie that’s absolutely dripping with so much charisma. Add a healthy amount of Aerosmith to the equation, and you have a solid summer blockbuster that not only stands the test of time, but has quite a few certified ballad bangers on its soundtrack.
Armageddon hit theaters July 1, 1998.
I know that Armageddon’s plot is impossible and clearly so does at least one of the actors who had a healthy amount of screen time. But despite its willingness to defy logic for the sake of larger-than-life storytelling, there’s a reason that this movie, which Roger Ebert hated more than Spice World, raked in over $550 million at the box office.
If you want to have a good time, listen to Ben Affleck’s commentary track while watching the movie. I promise you won’t regret it.
