Pierce Brosnan’s House Is Robbed And Culprit Does Horribly Disgusting Acts
A man was arrested for allegedly defecating outside Pierce Brosnan's house and stealing water from his property.
Pierce Brosnan just experienced a close encounter of the turd kind (we humbly apologize for that joke, but it was just too good to pass up). According to TMZ, a man urinated and defecated in Brosnan’s neighbor’s yard and then proceeded to trespass on the James Bond actor’s property and use his outdoor shower to wash up. The man took off running when police arrived on the scene but was eventually apprehended and charged with stealing Brosnan’s water.
Police told the news organization that they started receiving reports Monday afternoon that a strange man was roaming around Pierce Brosnan’s Malibu estate and his neighbor’s property next door. Eyewitnesses saw the man defecating and urinating on the neighbor’s lawn and then sifting through their garbage before moving over to Brosnan’s property. The report doesn’t mention if the man was clothed or not while doing his business.
Police initially claimed that the man walked around Pierce Brosnan’s backyard and then entered the actor’s laundry room in order to clean himself up after his heinous act of vandalism. A recent update to the story, however, now alleges that the culprit never entered Pierce’s house proper but instead used an outdoor shower located on Brosnan’s land.
While slightly better, the new detail doesn’t change the overall disgusting nature of the crime.
The squatter fled the scene soon after cleaning himself and was spotted by a Sheriff’s helicopter hiding among some nearby rocks. The authorities immediately arrested the man and booked him for the above-mentioned crime of H2O burglary as well as his other infractions.
The crime of water theft in California is considered a misdemeanor and carries a fine of up to $1000 and up to six months in jail. That’s in addition to any other charges Pierce Brosnan’s burglar might face from trespassing and public waste disposal. Public urination and defecation is also considered a misdemeanor in the state of California, punishable by a fine of $500 or six months in jail.
Trespassing adds another $1000 fine and another possible six months to the vandal’s sentence. All in all, the public pooper could be looking at up to a year and a half of jail time and or up to $2500 in fines. Guaranteed, that’s the most expensive duece the vandal has ever dropped.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time Pierce Brosnan has had to deal with unwanted visitors on his Malibu property. Last year the actor had to file a restraining order against a woman he claimed was stalking him and his family. 55-year-old Michelle Welch Mulready was allegedly parking in front of Brosnan’s house in the car she was living out of at the time and stalking his family and guests.
As bad as stalking is, at least Welch Mulready wasn’t emptying her colon on Pierce’s or his neighbor’s lawn.
Pierce’s wife Keely Shaye Smith was home to witness the grotesque shenanigans, but it’s unknown at this time if Brosnan was with her. Had the 70-year-old been there when the disgusting act was committing his lewd crimes against nature, it’s a good bet that the former 007 would have wished that he still had a license to kill.
