Star Trek Is Full Of Humans Because They’re Insane
In the kind of diverse galaxy presented in Star Trek with countless alien species, humans seem to rule the proverbial roost. For example, in spite of sharing the Federation with other species–many of whom are physically, mentally, and/or technologically superior to Earthlings–any Starfleet ship we see is mostly filled with humans with some non-humans sprinkled here and there. While the real reason for this is likely “prosthetics and CGI cost money,” some fans collectively came up with the in-universe theory the other Federation species let humans control everything because they’re nuts, and because inexplicably their insanity yields results.
Humans Don’t Know What They’re Doing
The road to the theory began with a question: why do so many Starfleet ships suffer such bizarre malfunctions so often, and why don’t we see this weirdness going on with ships manned by Romulans, Klingons, etc.? Why don’t we ever hear about crazy holodeck malfunctions where make-believe characters take over the ship on Andorian vessels?
The answer, many online theorists will tell you, is that in Star Trek, humans are “a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles who can produce “an unlimited number of bulls**t space-magic countermeasures” if you make the mistake of attacking their ships.
One theorist gave the hypothetical example that if you gave most Trek species two warp cores, they would use one and set aside the other in case the first one malfunctions. Humans, on the other hand, would do something crazy, like plug the two cores together to see if it would make their ship twice as fast.
The difference between Star Trek and real life is that in Star Trek, the idiotic stuff the humans try actually works half the time. The other half? Well, that’s what causes all the bizarre malfunctions.
Holodecks
The very fact that holodecks exist and seem to be standard issue on Starfleet vessels is proof the Star Trek crazy humans theory has some validity.
Particularly in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Voyager, holodecks are nothing but menaces waiting to realize their potential.
We’ve seen multiple fictional villains become self-aware, Starfleet officers become stuck in the things and forced to act out a fantasy, and the so-called “safety protocols” get shut off seemingly every few minutes.
We’ve even seen officers become addicted to holodeck fantasies, and murderers use the holodeck to create locked-door whodunnits.
One of the most violent Voyager two-parters ever has the hunter-obsessed Hirogen take over the ship and force The Doctor to wipe the memories of the crew and insert false memories so the aliens can use the Starfleet officers as prey in holodeck scenarios pulled from World War II or ancient Klingon conflicts.
In spite of all this insanity, Starfleet continues to give a thumbs up to this bonkers technology it clearly has only the thinnest understanding of. If that isn’t proof of the Star Trek crazy humans theory, what else could be?
Deep Space Nine
One online theorist points out that more than any other series in the franchise, Deep Space Nine is proof of the Star Trek crazy humans theory. Why?
Because the eponymous station wasn’t built by humans, but seized it from the departing Cardassians. As a result, according to the theory, it suffered far fewer of these strange malfunctions.
In fact, while DS9 had multiple holosuites, there was only ever one holosuite malfunction episode in its entire run–“Our Man Bashir.”
There were episodes that focused on the holosuites like “It’s Only a Paper Moon” and “Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang,” but they weren’t malfunction episodes. They didn’t have Sherlock Holmes villains taking over the station or Bashir falling in love with self-aware holographic women on the beach. They simply took place in the holosuite.
Chase The Crazy
So if you find yourself in the universe of Star Trek and you prefer a calm, peaceful life, you’d do well to get a spot on a Vulcan-run ship. Or maybe stay off spaceships altogether.
But if you want to see if the presence of a magic orb on your ship will randomly send you back in time, or if you just want the chance to go through a potentially never-ending time loop only to find yourself face to face with Frasier? Get yourself a spot on a human ship immediately!
Source: ReactorMag
